Quitting Smoking

Among the medicines I was throwing away was a prescription for Wellbutrin, around November, 2002. That was when I quit smoking. I got patches and Wellbutrin, but still it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I remember almost every day of it. The first day was not so hard -- I had a mission and plan, I could do this! The second day, not so great; reality and nicotine withdrawal kicks in.

To distract myself, I tried to bake some cookies. I had a recipe. I read the ingredients -- 1 cup sugar. Then I started thinking about, I don't know what, it was just not about sugar or cookies. Then I remembered, cookies. So I looked at the recipe, and I saw the ingredients -- 1 cup sugar. Then I started thinking about, something else, I don't know what, but it was not about sugar or cookies or anything I was thinking about before. Then I remembered, cookies. So I looked at the recipe. . . . And this went on for four or five iterations until I thought, is this what it's like to be ADD?

I got through the day, but the cookies were never baked. These are my suggestions for any thinking about quitting smoking: (1) You need at least 3-4 weeks or more when you're not working or doing anything stressful to do this. (2)  You can use an oral fixation crutch, but choose something that you will have to wean yourself from quickly, because it's embarrassing!.  (Example, I chose cutting little straws into cigarette shapes to "smoke". I mean, who would want to be caught "smoking" that?) (3) You need drugs, so take everything the doctors give you: patches, happiness pills, whatever, take it all. (4) The tip Kaiser (my insurance company/smoke ender program) suggested: pick a night that is the last night you're a smoker. You can smoke as much as you usually do that day, but, before you go to bed, throw out all your leftover cigarettes, and all your ashtrays and matches and lighters and any smoking-related paraphrenalia. Because when you wake up, you're not going to be a smoker anymore.

(5) Know that every thing that you have ever done while you were smoking, you will need to be prepared to do while you are not smoking. So that might mean, a year later, after you think you're fine, you will get off an airplane and, because the last time you got off an airplane, all you could think of was, where can I smoke, this is what you will think as a "non-smoker", unless you undo the pattern. Every thing you ever did as a smoker, you have to do again as a non-smoker.

(6) Keep busy. Do exercises, go to classes. Build a patio. But don't go to work. Remember? You're on sick leave. Or smoke leave. Or something.

(7) Know this: If you can make it past the first 3 or 4 months, then, any hitch in the road, any little craving, it's just a matter of, Do I really want to make it through this? Because it's really that easy after that.

Old Lady Getting All Responsible And Stuff

Over the past week, I've gotten rid of 7 or 8 large boxes of "hazardous waste," including old paint and varnish cans, old cell phones, laptops and other electronics, and expired prescription medicines. There is a paint store in my neighborhood, Dunn-Edwards, that takes old cans of paint, but not cans without labels (I had two of those).

There is also a household hazardous waste disposal site about 15 or 20 miles from my house that takes paint cans, even ones without labels, and electronics. I went there this past weekend. The workers were all wearing haz-mat suits. For paint. And cell phones.

Today I took a large bag of expired medicines, including vitamins and OTC pills, from over the past 20 years or more. I found out Kaiser's pharmacy has a drop box to take old pills. I wish I had known, I would have gotten rid of the pills sooner.

Taming The Garage

This is a picture of the garage today. And that's after selling a large, executive desk, a large, leather wingback desk chair, a portable air conditioning unit, a dining room table and 4 chairs, a large dog crate, a bicycle, and a large rug. And after editing 4 or 5 boxes from my personal (tax, etc.) files; donating 3 large boxes of clothes and 4 large boxes of sheets, towels and blankets; and tossing several bins worth of old books and magazines.*

The desk was in poor condition, due to chair gouging and just normal wear and tear. Too bad, because it was a beautiful desk, still being sold by Kimball for over $5,000 new. I asked only $245 because it needed refinishing.

I thought about refinishing it myself and selling it for more, but that's a risk. Executive desks are not in high demand. But I did invest in Restore-A-Finish, a really nice product sold through Home Depot. It adds a little stain to a polishing material that does a nice job of shining up old furniture and covering scratches. I liked it so much I used it on all the furniture in my house. The desk was bought by an event coordinator for a corporate (Budweiser) event. The staff people who picked up the desk promised me the owner knows the value of fine furniture and would be restoring and refinishing it after the event.

The leather chair was a different matter. The back panel was torn, and the leather needed some cleaning and TLC, but it looked like the repair might not cost too much. Unrestored and unrepaired, the chair might have been a hard sell at even $100. I cleaned and conditioned the chair with leather soap and conditioner. That was one thirsty chair.

The repair was a bit more than I had hoped, $225, but I was pretty sure I could get around $425 for it all nice and new-looking, based on the cost of comparable new chairs. The leather upholsterer did a really nice job of repair, and he threw in some color touch ups here and there, and replaced a few missing brass studs for no extra charge. The guy who bought the chair, for $425, was super pleased with it, he was sick of sitting in small chairs. And I got an extra $100 for my troubles.

It doesn't look it, but now I can actually move around in the garage, which means I can go through some of those old boxes and toss the junk, keep what I need, and garage sell what's left. Some of the stuff in there is already on Craigslist -- the golf case and a couple of bar stools you can see in the picture, plus three wingback chairs that would look beautiful if someone would reupholster them. The chairs take a lot of space, but I hate to just throw them away. Maybe I'll ask an upholsterer what it might cost to have them reupholstered. I just don't think I'll get the return I was able to get with the leather chair.

The goal is to whittle the garage storage down to just those items I need to take with me to SC: personal/tax files, family pictures, keepsakes, and the like. Even if I weren't moving, it's past time to tame that garage.

* I know what you're thinking: how could you sell and donate and throw away so many large items and boxes, and still have a garage that crowded? When you're just storing furniture, not trying to sell it, you can stack dining tables and chairs on top of desks, and store boxes underneath; if you're selling furniture, you have to arrange it to show, nothing can be over or underneath, and it all has to be arranged in the front of the garage. So you're actually taking more space, until everything is gone.

Old Lady Goes To The Fair

I did tell my son we need to take advantage of our time left here to be tourists in our town, so yesterday it was the L.A. County Fair. Way out in Pomona, almost 60 miles away -- Is that even in Los Angeles County? -- it took us an hour and a half to get there, and two and a half hours to get back. My poor planning meant we hit rush hour traffic on the return trip.

But it was worth it. I love the fair. We went with friends -- Connie and her son, Damien. Here are my son, Renaud, and Damien, hamming for the camera.

I love the exhibits most of all, especially the amazing quilts. Gorgeous designs and colors. And the way the displays were curated, mixing various entries, sewing, quilting, knitting, ceramics, photographs and drawings, with a common theme or color palette. Here's my favorite, the Dia De Los Muertos exhibit,

Here's a nice beer theme . . . .

Some Japanese or oriental flavors:

The dragon was beedwork or needlepoint,
or both.

And Christmas!!

I only wish we could have visited the animals, but we had to leave, so as not to miss rush hour traffic.

Old Lady's Parents Build A Log Cabin

Jeanette lives in a log cabin in the middle of the woods, near Blythewood. She and my father built the log cabin from scratch -- they felled the trees, stripped the bark, cured the logs, and hoisted them up with a pulley. This is a picture of the log cabin today:

This was a decade-long project, started in 1980, and finished around 1990. A little back story: Back in the 1970s, after a difficult divorce, my father began dating. He was introduced to Jeanette by a mutual friend who, quite rightly, felt they were meant for each other. They both liked camping, hiking, gardening -- anything outdoors. Jeanette had some family land near Blythewood, and they would go camping there almost every weekend, sometimes bringing my younger brothers. They dated exclusively for several years, but even that long after the divorce, my father was shy about marriage. Still, when Jeanette announced she would be buying a trailer and moving to the woods, that's all it took for my country-boy father: Oo Baby, I think I want to marry you! They got married and they both moved to the trailer in the woods.

L-R, Brother Bill, J'net, Brother Louis and I,
and Father Bill

L-R, Brothers Louis & Bill,
Camping Out

According to J'net, my father originally wanted to build an addition to the trailer, but she put her foot down on that idea, and squashed it around for good measure. If they were going to build something, it had to be a real house.

She wasn't sure if Daddy had in mind a log addition to the trailer, but it didn't take him long to decide that he would like to try building a log cabin. He told J'net that, when they were young, he and his brothers had built a fort or cabin using large pine branches. That one didn't last, but he thought he could use some of the same building ideas they had used, only with pine logs instead of branches.

Clearing The Land (trailer in background)

He practiced and refined his techniques by building a small, approximately 8'x8' log shed. (The shed is still there, being used for storage.) When he started, he wasn't sure he would be able to build a proper log cabin, but Jeanette said, by the time he got the logs half-way up the practice shed, he knew they could do it. I believe she said they started the house then, while he finished the shed. Makes sense, since it would take more than a year just to clear the land and finish the foundation.

Still Clearing, Foundation Blocks Are Ready

My brother, Glen, did a terrific brochure about the project for one of his graphic design classes at Clemson, with more specifics about the building process. Jeanette said each log needed at least a year to dry out, cure, before it could be used. They also had to skin the logs, remove the bark, by hand, using knives and homemade tools. And they were doing all this in their spare time, after working full-time jobs.

We all helped, some more than others, but Daddy and Jeanette did most of the work, by far. I was in California that decade, first in law school, then as an associate at a large law firm, but I was still able to visit and help with some stages: I was there for the roofing, and for some of the Perma-Chinking.

One day I'll figure out how to add a slide show function to the side bar, to better show these pictures, but for now, I'll just stack them below:

Laying Foundation Blocks

Mixing Cement

Stacking Logs

Drilling. Or Something.

Windows And Doors

Brothers Bill & Louis, My Father (Bill) In The Middle

The Log Section (Great Room) And Upper Floor Are Finished,
Roofing Starts

Ready To Move In

Just the middle section, the great room, is log; the side wings and upper floor are standard wood frame. My father also built those sections, but hired contractors for the electrical, plumbing, and other specialized work. He said they all were amazed by his construction, and would marvel at how strong and level everything was, "Not like Spring Valley" (a local subdivision).

My father only got to spend seven years in the cabin; he died in 1997. But that cabin will outlive all of us, and it will be a monument to Bill and Jeanette for generations to come.

Columbia Or Charlotte?

I know I keep talking about moving to South Carolina, but I'm trying to decide between Columbia and Charlotte, at least for the first move. Jeanette lives in Blythewood, about 15-20 miles northeast of Columbia's suburbs, and about 70 miles (1 hour) from Charlotte's suburbs. So Charlotte would be farther from home, of course, but I'm from L.A., we're used to spending over an hour in a car to get to anywhere.

Charlotte would be a bit more urbane, a little less of a culture shock, especially for my son, who has known nothing but life in a large city. Also, he has a disability, doesn't drive, and needs access to special services. It's a little hard to tell from online searches, but it looks like Charlotte may have better public transportation than Columbia. I'm going to have to research the availability of services for people with disabilities across the two cities and states, but I'm guessing Charlotte/NC may offer more than Columbia/SC. Still, I could be wrong. They're both red states, and most social services are offered at the state level. First state to offer expanded Medicaid, though, wins our vote. Medicaid is extremely important to people with disabilities; it is usually their only access to health care.*

On the other hand, my quick first look shows Columbia with cheaper housing, which would help Renaud and me. Renaud is on Section 8 (a national program, so his eligibility would travel with him to any state he moved to), and Columbia may have nicer apartments for the money. I would also probably get more house for the money in the Columbia area. Plus, I'd be closer to family.

But, I have read that Charlotte properties are considered one of the best real estate investments in the country, at least for now. I could buy a house there, initially, then move to Columbia and rent or sell the Charlotte house. If Charlotte were better for Renaud, he could stay there, it wouldn't be far.

Decisions, decisions. I'm starting a research page with links about Columbia and Charlotte, real estate, neighborhoods, public transportation, social services, etc.

* Yes, most people with disabilities, including my son, are on SSI or SSDI (or similar), which includes Medicaid and/or Medicare. But you can lose your eligibility for those programs, including Medicaid/Medicare, if you earn too much money, or for other reasons. The "expanded Medicaid" offered under the Affordable Care Act, where eligibility for Medicaid was expanded to include low-income people (not just people on SSI/SSDI), means that people with disabilities don't have to worry about earning too much money or otherwise losing their SSI/SSDI eligibility: their health care is guaranteed either way. However, states need to opt in to the program, and to date neither SC nor NC has opted in.

Things I'm Going To Love About SC

I’m looking forward to . . .

Family & Friends -- Our family has lived in SC since the 1700s, so there are a lot of us there. I grew up in Columbia, and I have two brothers and a sister still living there, plus their children (my nieces and nephews), plus my mother/stepmother/mother, Jeanette. And lots of cousins. Not to mention, old friends from high school.

A Slower-Paced Lifestyle -- I can feel my blood pressure dropping every time I pull into the drive at Jeanette’s place. And for all the glamour and cultural events of Los Angeles, I can probably count on my two hands the number of times I’ve actually taken advantage of them. I’m really more of a homebody. And there are local arts productions and touring companies. Plus Atlanta and Charlotte. And New York, if you really need a fix.

Water -- Lakes and rivers and rain and green grass lawns. No drought there! I can plant anything! And water sports, although I’m getting a little old for that. But I think I could handle some kayaking.

Cheaper Almost Everything -- I think food is cheaper in California -- so much is grown here -- but just about everything else is less expensive in SC, starting with housing. It’s ridiculous what my old 3-bed/2-bath, 1600 sf house is worth. The only people who can afford to live in L.A. are the very well-off or long-time homeowners, like me, who have paid off their mortgages and are Prop. 13 protected on our property taxes. Gas is cheaper in SC, too, usually about 15% less than what we pay in CA. Taxes are probably less, too, overall (counting sales, property, income, etc.), but you get what you pay for there. I never begrudged the taxes here in L.A., even when I was working and paying quite a lot, we get a lot for the price -- public transportation, expanded Medicaid, probably the nation’s best college system, help for people with disabilities. But if I’m buying a new house there, less property tax would be nice.

Including Cheaper Dance Lessons -- Very important!

The Beaches -- White sandy beaches, with the warm Atlantic Shelf waters. And the preferred way to vacation there is to rent a beach house. Yes, California's coastline is dramatic and awe-inspiring, and there are some sandy beaches (Santa Monica, Venice), but the water is cold, and most of the shoreline is inaccessible to any but rock climbers and surfers. Beautiful to see, but not very approachable.

Charleston and Asheville -- Beautiful places to visit.

Costco and IKEA -- Columbia got its first Costco a couple of years ago. So far there’s only one, but how many do you need? And there’s an IKEA in Charlotte, only about an hour and a half from Columbia. I already have to travel 20-30 miles to reach the closest IKEA here, and 20 L.A. miles is equal to 60 SC miles, so what’s an extra 30 miles or so? Especially if they're SC miles, which are like only 10 L.A. miles.

Publix -- When I was fencing and traveling to competitions in the South, I discovered Publix and its great bakeries!

Agitating -- I'm very progressive, and I've been living in very blue cities since the 70s. So it will be quite a culture shock to move to a place where everyone just assumes you're a MAGA Republican. On the other hand, being a Democrat in a heavily Democratic state and city means you can't make much of a difference in outcomes. Over there, helping people get voter IDs, helping with voter registration drives, canvassing, etc., can really make a difference in the outcome of a vote. Plus, I can register as a Republican to vote for sane people in the primaries. (I'm not one of those who thinks it's a good idea to encourage Republicans to vote for the craziest candidate in the primaries, in order to increase the Democrats' chances of winning in the generals. That kind of thinking is what got us Trump.)   

Things I Love About L.A.

I'm feeling nostalgic, and I haven't even left yet. This is a short list of things I'll miss about Los Angeles:

The Arts -- all the museums and playhouses, dance troupes, concerts, Disney Hall, Music Center, The Pantages, The Norton Simon, The Getty (including the Villa), Huntington Gardens and Museum, LACMA. The Getty and The Broad are always free (except for some special exhibits or shows), and the other museums have free days once a month. Disney Hall and Music Center also offer discounted tickets. And there are more arts centers, with more concerts and dance shows, in the Valley.

The Dancing -- Dance classes taught by professional dancers, open to every skill level, available all over town! Argentine Tango, Bollywood, Samba, Salsa, West Coast Swing. I've even been blessed to take Booiaka hip hop lessons from the amazing Tatiana Tamai. And a dance lesson from a DWTS star (Jonathon Roberts). Mary Murphy visited our dance studio once, and she's just as adorable in person as she is on TV. But I'm not really talking about the celebrities. They're fun, but they're not teaching regular classes. I'm talking about the struggling dancers, who teach dance and exercise classes in between auditions and dance jobs. For every struggling actor waiting a table, there's a struggling dancer teaching Latin Heat, Zumba, Barre Fitness or Salsa. (Well, actually there aren't as many dancers as actors, maybe only a fifth of a dancer for every actor, but that's more than enough.) Not to mention free dance lessons downtown (Music Center) all summer.

The Libraries -- L.A. Public Library System has branches everywhere, and the downtown main library is awesome. You can find just about anything there. I even came across a book about my ancestors, written by a great-grand aunt, Ancestors of Henry Montgomery Smith and Catherine Forshee, by Anne Morrill Smith. They're from New York, but they made it to the Los Angeles Public Library's Genealogy room. The library is also just gorgeous to look at.

The Parks -- Especially Griffith Observatory and park, but also all of the canyon and hillside parks and trails. No matter where you are in Los Angeles, you are only 5 or 10 minutes away from wilderness. The West Mulholland Trailhead is only about a mile (5 minutes) from my suburban house.

The Diversity -- All the different cultures not just represented, but celebrated, here -- Chinatown, Little Tokyo, Koreatown, Olvera Street, Cinco de Mayo, Chinese New Year. All the festivals and celebrations. I like hearing Spanish and seeing signs in Spanish, I learn something.

The Fashion District -- blocks and blocks of stores selling all kinds of fabrics and sewing notions and supplies.

Public Transportation -- The Metro bus, rail and subway systems can take you anywhere, sometimes faster than your car. (Always faster than your car if you're going downtown.)

The Beaches -- Santa Monica, Venice, Malibu. Just 10 miles from my house.

The Mountains -- Farther away, but you can see them from everywhere, including their snow caps in winter.

Costcoes Everywhere! And IKEA!

I told my son we need to start being tourists here, taking advantage of the sights and shows and museums while we can. Wherever you are, you tend to take things for granted.

Old Dogs Making Moves

I have an English Springer Spaniel (Magic) *, b. 2007, and an American Cocker Spaniel (Pwcca), b. 2005. Both are in good health, unless vet says otherwise at their vx and annual checkup Tuesday, but they're not getting any younger. I worry about how to move them across the country.

Here's some pictures of Their Majesties,

Magic

Pwcca

From my initial look, it seems I have these options: (1) fly them across the country, (2) drive them across the country, (3) pay someone to drive them across the country, (4) pay someone to drive them and my car across the country. They all have pros and cons. I wish there were a 5th option: Riding with dogs on trains across the country. Maybe there'll be something like that in the future. For now, this page is where I'll collect links about those options and maybe others.

* Magic will actually be coming home, when we move to SC. He was given to me by one of my SC cousins, who breeds and raises English Springer Spaniels. She said, "All my dogs are magic." So, of course, he's Magic.

Old Lady's Old Friend Gives Advice

I have a friend, Anne, who is very knowledgeable about real estate and decorating. She has bought and sold a number of houses on her own account, and she even has a real estate license. She's a nurse, and she's never had a job as a realtor, but she took the RE courses for research. Anyway, she's someone I have always called with questions about decor, furniture, DIY, etc.

I called Anne a few months ago, telling her about my Five Year Plan, and asking what I should be doing now to get ready to sell. "Go to open houses," she said, "As many as you can, and see what sells." (She also said, "Oh, and spend the money to have your house staged. I wish I had staged my mother's house, I know it would have sold much faster than it did. And paint your cabinets.")

I did go to quite a few open houses over the past couple of months, and I felt quite humbled. All the houses had new appliances, many had new cabinets, new countertops, even new toilets. Everything looked so new. New, new, new. And my house looks so old. Old, old, old.

Now I can't afford to remodel my kitchen and bathrooms, but at least I can try to make them look newer. Hence the cabinet painting, grout renewing, countertop shining, and other projects on my Task List.

But a bonus I wasn't expecting from the open house visiting was the ability to meet and talk to local real estate agents. Most of the open houses didn't have enormous traffic; I could talk to some agents for as long as 10 minutes before another person walked in. They would tell me what sells (cleanliness, newness, no clutter); many offered to come over to my house to check it out and tell me what I might do.

I took them up on the offers. After old renter moved out, while I still had the empty room and bath to show, I asked three over. The consensus was approval of my list, but adding, buy new stainless steel appliances. Another said I should replace my bedroom carpet. Most said, don't spend a lot of money changing or remodeling, just get everything as clean and shiny as can be, and consider staging.

Meanwhile, Anne decided she wants to sell her house, too, around the same time I'd be selling mine. She's not thinking of moving to another city or state, she just wants to downsize. She and her husband have four boys, but they're all grown and on their own now, and their home is too big for just the two of them. Plus they would like to squeeze some extra cash out of the move.

So Anne called her own real estate friend and had her come over. Her friend actually wanted her to do a bit more changing (something about a bathroom wall), but she added that trim (wall, window, door trim) should be painted glossy white. I've only ever painted semi-gloss; glossy seems so extreme to me. But Anne's RE friend said, "People want shiny things."

I'm going to have to ponder on that as I prepare to paint the living room.